Dear Moms & Dads,
You are navigating uncharted waters these days as you take over educating your children at home during a global pandemic. Suddenly, and without preparation, you are now a teacher and a nurse on top of all your ordinary household duties. Every routine your family uses to function has been disrupted. This is nothing small or simple.
Amidst fears about jobs, paying bills, having enough groceries, the health of your parents, relatives and friends, the economy, your retirement, tracking who you’ve had contact with, and disinfecting all the things, you also have to figure out childcare or how to care for your kids yourself all day while working at home. Not only that, but also trying to interpret packets of assignments and information that have come home from school. With multiple children in different grade levels this could mean something like 5-20 separate assignments each day. As someone who has been a public school teacher and now a homeschooling parent, I want to share some encouragement and perspective for you during this unbelievably stressful experience.
I’ve been watching the panic and despair unfold over social media, fielding questions and distress calls from friends and family – how am I supposed to do this? I am NOT a teacher! How do homeschoolers do this every day?!
Well, let me tell you….
To become a teacher, I spent 4 years in college studying best practices for lesson planning and classroom management and becoming an expert in my content area. Then I spent a full year practicing in an actual classroom with an experienced mentor teacher. Even this did not fully prepare me for teaching on my own. There was so much I had to learn just by being there, interacting with students, parents, counselors, fellow teachers, and administrators daily, finding my teaching style and fine-tuning my time management. After 2 years of teaching, I embarked on another 3-year journey to get my master’s degree in school counseling, to better understand and serve my students needs beyond academics.
When our first daughter was preschool-aged I knew I wanted to homeschool. I knew other moms who were homeschoolers and started paying attention. I researched a dozen homeschooling styles and approaches, each with their own merits and shortcomings. I took into consideration my personal strengths and my child’s personality. I did more research and began curating a stash of helpful educational supplies. As my oldest has progressed through elementary school, now in 4th grade, and my second daughter now in 1st grade, I’ve continued to reevaluate methods and approaches. I’ve researched curriculum and at other times gone completely off on my own homemade variety. We’ve continued to accrue supplies, books, manipulatives, kits, sets, books, maps, etc. We have a dedicated classroom in our house with bookshelves filled with everything we need. I spend time over the summers planning. I’ve fine-tuned a schedule that balances core academics with creative learning opportunities. It’s completely tailored to my children’s learning styles, abilities and personalities as well as our lifestyle. It is 100% customized to be what we want our day to be. My children know our routine and wake up each day ready for it. This is our everyday normal.
Do you see? What you’re doing is not what we do every day as homeschoolers. What you’re doing isn’t homeschooling, it’s emergency schooling. You didn’t get training. You didn’t get time to plan or research or even mentally prepare for this challenge. Your house is not full of educational supplies. You’re doing this on the fly, and I promise you any teacher or homeschooler will tell you that education absolutely requires a crap-ton of planning and prep.
No. What you’re doing is MUCH harder than what homeschoolers are doing every day. Please give yourself credit for that. Please know that you are in a uniquely difficult circumstance right now and you’re doing the very best you can with zero preparation or training, and you’re doing a freaking fantastic job. Keeping your kids safe at home during a global pandemic is the very best thing you can do for them. If they’re also learning something academic, great. But if they’re watching movies and playing LEGOS together, that’s also great. You are NOT failing. There is so much that’s imperative that demands your time and attention to actually get through this crisis. You’re not failing your kids if they’re taking a break from rigorous academics while half the world is shut down. Things are scary right now, from the news to empty store shelves. Kids need a sense of peace and stability more than anything, not a daily fight with their parents over school work that neither of you really understands.
So to answer the question of how you’re supposed to do this when you’re not a teacher…..
I want you to know it’s okay to read together and watch educational television instead of struggling with math packets and science videos. In reality, packets and worksheets are not how children learn best, or learn well at all. There’s no need to beat yourself up over the marginal value they’ll get out of that type of exercise. If it’s not working, it’s okay to try something different. Make a recipe together, look up kitchen science experiments on Pinterest, watch a documentary on Netflix or Disney+, plan an imaginary adventure around the world and research what you’ll see, eat, and do in each destination. There is educational value in so many everyday things. Let it be peaceful and not a struggle. Let your kids draw, write, build and create. Challenge them to think and solve problems, to research answers to their questions. And also let them relax and play and imagine. Play is not idle and useless. As the wonderful Mr. Rogers said, “Play is the work of childhood.”
To answer the question of how homeschoolers do this every day…. They don’t.
What you and millions of parents are going through right now, on top of a massive health crisis, is not what homeschoolers do. And you’re not a failure or any less capable of educating your child if you feel like you’re barely surviving and managing the chaos. You’re a parent, whose life and routines have been tossed in a blender, trying to keep all the pieces in place. You’re a rockstar, and your kids are lucky to have you. Recognize your efforts. Give yourself credit for everything you’re doing right now to keep all the different areas of your life in a semi-normal state. Let go of everything being done perfectly. Focus your efforts on what is absolutely necessary. And please, please don’t compare yourself to homeschoolers or anyone else right now. Focus on your family and your needs. Stay home as much as possible. Help your kids discover some new things. And we’ll all get through this together…. but, ya know, separately.
Sincerely,
A former teacher, now homeschooling mom
